So anybody who knows me, knows that my wee cool dude of a son has Autism.

All the photos you see of him, he’s happy, smiley, go lucky, fun lovin’, chilling out dude.

what you don’t see are his struggles.
Mainly his eating issues.

Holden’s autism affects his eating habits horrendously. there are times he will eat nothing within a 24 hour period that the next day he’s that hungry he’s sick and in pain and he won’t eat anything because there’s nothing that smells right, looks right, doesn’t look like it’s got dirt or things in it.

Meal times are a living nightmare. he’s very limited on his diet and i struggle to get him to even try a new food.

So here’s the thing.
Holden’s nearest support group, Helping Hands, have a scheme for Autistic children to get ipad’s. We need to collect 170 minimum so holden can get one.

You may wonder what’s an Ipad got to do with eating. How can it help?

There is another little boy in the group, and just like holden he is very aware of the food he eats. His mother used an app on the ipad and recorded her son eating an apple….

Can you imagine that… an apple. Being apple to eat something so sweet and juicy, something that we take for granted. It’s awesome for the child, but for the parent… for the parent of a child whose diet is soooo heart breakingly restricted i can tell you now, that right there is simply mind blowing.

I have never asked anyone for anything when it came to my boy.  For the past 7 years i’ve fought the food battle amongst his other issues alone. But today, i’m asking for YOUR HELP. I’m asking for you to give me the chance to have my mind blown away.  Help my son be able to experience and enjoy his foods.

All i ask for, is your old mobile phone. it must have it’s battery and the back of the phone and it can’t be any older than 10 years.

Got a spare? changing soon for an upgrade?  instead of letting the phone sit in a drawer, or be tossed out into the bin, Please, pop it in an envelope, email me (at the address at the bottom of this post) and help me and boy out.  You’s could help make all the difference to my son’s life.

Thank you

Julie & Holden

Email~ Juliegibson5@btinternet.com

JANUARY:

so my partner in crime, Bernie, and I needed to get out and shoot. it had been a while with the previous xmas and all, so i headed up to her neck of the woods. A few hours in ballycastle hotel and down by the waves done us the world of good. Was good to get out before our first wedding of the year.

As with their previous posts, billy and verdi were an excellent couple to work with on their wedding day. everything went smoothly and their photos, still a year on, are some of my favourites.

FEBRUARY:

A very special month, I was totally honoured to photograph the children of the Autism group ‘Helping Hands’ for their new website’. With my own son being autistic it had really hit home to me just how wonderful autistic children are, even though we have our bad days, times are hard, when things are good, they are amazing! The children of the group are simply that.

MARCH:

The next month saw the website launch at Castlereagh Borough Council. It was truly an honour to be part of something that the parents of the group had worked so hard to get up and running. They are an inspiration to us all. Make sure you take a look at the website http://hhautismbelfast.co.uk/index.html

APRIL:

The first motorbike race of the season. Irish Superbike Championship at bishopscourt. My favourite race track here in Northern Ireland.  Cameron Donald wiped the board and this was my photo of the day.

March also a run up to Ballymoney to see the new Robert Dunlop Memorial Garden. Beside his brother’s Joey’s garden they are very well done. two beautiful gardens for our local heroes and our racing scene is not the same without them.

MAY: Just one of my favourite months of the year.

This is because, it’s full of birthdays, including my mum’s and my daughters. Parties, cakes, family and friends celebrating. My daughter’s birthday is extra special because it’s usually the weekend of the NW200. so it’s always spent with family and friends, the craic is mighty and the racing is usually fantastic. This year? well….. it was a wash out, heavy rain, bomb scares and Ryan leaking oil round the course it was a wet, short lived saturday.

still, always managed to get the photos and of course my favourite, Guy Martin.

JUNE:

A very important month. After 13 years of being on a waiting list, i finally got the keys to my new house. some people take things in life for granted like living in a 3 bedroom house, but to me, it was like winning the lottery.

JULY:

No 12th photos this year. moving house took over everything but we still managaed to get down to the bonfire in newtownards.

July also was a month of going on the titanic walking tours. very interesting and great to see the drawing office. With both my grandfathers and my sister having worked in the shipyard it was nice to get up close and get plenty of photos.  Chris the tour guide is also the chaplin and his energy and excitement keeps pushing you along. Can’t recommend it highly enough.

AUGUST:

Another busy month for Bernie and I doing weddings. A beautiful couple, Jim and Caroline got married at Belfast Castle, with their reception at The Knockagh Lodge. They were like Billy and Verdi and fantastic to photograph.

August is also the month of the Ulster Grand Prix!

Practice days and the Dundrod 150 races were watched opposite the pits. Some of the racers were finding it tough to keep up with the Doc!

Was great to get to see the guys out racing, and especially to see the new talent rising and being victorious.

It was shocking and extremely sad that only a few short weeks away at the IOM TT that Wayne would lose his life.

SEPTEMBER:

Another month of birthdays & a bit of a life changing moment for myself.

Son’s birthday party was held at the Extreme Bowling at Dundonal Ice Bowl. His school friends and he had a great time.

Life changing part? well, i took the plunge and went back to college. The HND in photography course was started and we had our first ‘outing’ in belfast for the peacewall and titanic quarter.

It was the first time i’d been to the peacewall. Part of the black taxi tours, Bobby our guide was explaining about the riots and the walls gates. Very interesting and very colourful.

OCTOBER:

My next favourite month of the year because for one simple reason:

THE SUNFLOWER RACES! The last race of the season at Bishopscourt.

and Halloween, especially going to the Enchanted Garden at Mount Stewart.

NOVEMBER:

With my first assignment due, it was based on spaces, i had chosen motorbike racing spaces. this got me the chance to photograph kirkistown and bishopscourt race circuits with the permission of the very nice, Richard and Wilson.

I was able to get round to the original runway where they hold the sprints. the two guys doing the repairs very kindly let me in to get what i needed. Thanks chaps!

DECEMBER:

Saw the hand in date for my first HND assignment. Part of which had to be shot with a film camera, negatives developed and prints made by yourself. something i’d never done before in my life. I had chosen Dundrod for my B&W images:

So with 2011 over and we’re already hurtling towards the end of February it’s not long flying in especially when life’s taking ye on a great journey.

Here’s to what the rest of 2012 brings

I’m going to start off my showing my age, but 20 odd years ago while I was at high school I have to admit, these were the days of my life! Why? Simply because I was coming home after school on a Thursday to my parents packing up the caravan & our bags getting ready for going to stay for the racing at my favourite place: BISHOPSCOURT!!!

Friday we’d be driving in through the gates, everybody saying hello and getting the caravan down the infield to the usual spot where my dad marshalled. Caravan set up, brunch made and the first bike zooming past the window. The medical team and marshalls all having a laugh and trying to keep warm. Friday night walks around the circuit looking up in the crystal clear sky and seeing the milky way. Saturday would come, full of electric air with the buzz of the days racing. Counting down till the last race, wondering how long there was left to go. With ants in my pants asking my folks how long would it be before the medical team and other marshalls would be away.
Then my sister would say the magical words… Are you ready? And we’d be out that caravan door quicker than the bikes going round the circuit!!! Why??? Cuz I was a 14 year old learning to drive my dads car round a race circuit!!! It was magic!

20 odd years later and I still get that excitement of going to bishopscourt, now though it’s with the camera and shooting the guys risking all for our entertainment. The special part of it all for me though is my children are with me. No, we’re not staying. No, my 13 year old daughter is not learning to drive my car, but yes we’re there as a family. Yes the craic is mighty and yes it’s still a magical place.

So, when I got the course’s assignment here is where I immediately thought of. Unfortunately I wasn’t allowed access and I was disappointed. But then in tech one day, again after speaking to john my tutor I made 3 phone calls. Determined not to accept a no. I didn’t have to worry. I was allowed to go down as long as I didn’t drive my car around the circuit. I agreed but inside I was disappointed. How great It could have been to go for a lap driving after 20 odd years from learning there. It was something that lasted all but 2 seconds in my mind. I was to go there for a reason. Photographs.

So much to photograph. I could be down there quite happily for a few days never mind the few hours that I had. Again starting off at the bottom end of the circuit, they’ve extended the track. Photographing the barriers that divide the area, the muddy dirt track that engulfs the outskirts of the circuit it was photo after photo. Moving round to see the runway rubble that was dug up, new viewing banks, areas for the marshals and medics, it was all changed from my childhood. Sad but in a good way.

Looking out from the circuit you can see the old RAF buildings, water towers, look out bases and squaddie homes. So much history, character and a certain charm it’s part and parcel of bishopscourt’s character and appeal to me.

After photographing empty pits and the start and finish I moved on away from the actual circuit. Getting my inspiration from Willie Doherty’s ‘Border’ photos I wanted to find the old entrance to the runway with the metal barricade up. Unfortunately it has been taken away as new houses are within the area and the only bits left are the two rusty steel barricade gates pushed up against the hedgerow, left to rot. These I will go back to photograph.

I did venture down the road and got into Runway B. this is used for the car sprints and I shot all round me. the atmosphere there is strange. Where dundrod is eerie, kirkistown is ok, bishopscourt has a mixture of the two. Like your expecting to see a ghost plane come into land but you’d be ok about it, I dunno, it’s weird, but in a good way.

More open space, after the rain, sun starting to break out and it was all rich with highlights and textures.
These images are making it into the rest of my final 8 prints.

But here’s a few of my favourites:

A day down at kirkistown.
No bikes or cars.
It’s as surreal as Dundrod but just not as dramatic to my mind (I didn’t expect a mad man to jump out of nowhere).

I was really excited getting to have the circuit for the photos. I done a lap first of all to see what caught my eye and where. With a map of the circuit and my dad with me, we toodled around. Now some reading this may think, what the heck did she have her dad with her for? Well I used my head. You see, my dad was a Marshall for 40 odd years. He knows all the wee nooks and crannies of the circuit. My Memories of Kirkistown was when I was my son’s age growing up towards my teens. I had no interest in the bikes or the circuit itself. Those days it was all about colouring in, drawing, reading books and listening to music.

We decided to start at the bottom of the track. At the colonials one and two. So much open space. Run offs, grass banks for the spectators, wee wooden huts for the flag marshals to set up for the day, yet I got a reminder of how in the middle of nowhere the track is part of people’s lives.

While taking photographs a couple came out from behind the hedges with four dogs. At first I thought they were greyhounds in the distance. As it turns out they were Irish wolfhounds. A family. Parents and their two young ones off out with their owners for their daily constitutional around the track. Well, you would if it was on your own back door step. The dogs bounding about the grass and Tarmac, loving the freedom.

Turning back to what else I could photograph my attention was drawn to the infield. The concrete bollards, rows of rope and the textures of the concrete and grass growing up between segments. Heading round by fishermans and looking up towards the hairpin and the paddock the light catching on railings and grass banks. You don’t appreciate the detail that’s infront of you as your attention is always on the racing.

Eventually making our way up to the paddock it was a shock to the system to see first of all how much it has changed and also how well maintained it is kept. Compared to dundrod that seems to be a racing ghost town with its bits of debris, kirkistown is well kept, everything in its place.

The hairpin has changed the greatest. Gone is the grass and we say hello to a huge run off area with a gravel trap and airbag fencing. On the inside of the track we say goodbye to the massive field of grass that had the high grass bank to view from. Instead it’s tarmac’d and 12 new purpose built garages with a new scruitineering building are in place. It’s absolutely fantastic!

The cream of the crop for me though was getting the roof access to get more of an aerial view. Sunshine on the day it was awesome! You don’t appreciate how big kirkistown is, until you see it at a greater view point. For the course it was brilliant, clearly showing the territories and boundaries of racing.

A few of images I have got from here are making it into my final assignment prints: I would like to thank Richard for his permission and help in getting the access. It is greatly appreciated.

Here’s a few of my favourites from the visit:

So the theme of racing spaces has developed over the past few weeks, pushing me out of my comfort zone, both photography wise and personally/confidence.

Photography for me is an escapism. It opens my eyes. Walking about Dundrod’s start & finish area shows me a lot. On the day it’s jammed pack. Crowds waiting to cross over at the gates, people in the hospitality areas getting fed and watered. Catching up with others, spirits high, laughter cutting through the air. The bikes, teams, mechanics, all busy. The race organisers and officials busy; scruitineering the bikes, riders signing on. Even the PSNI policing the area, making sure all is ok. It’s a hive of activity. It’s full of noise. Yet here I stand. Wet, cold days between September and November and none of that’s here just silence.

I stand alone, camera by my side. I watch. I look. Taking in what’s been left behind. Toxic paint cans, steel railings coupled on the ground, wheelie bins, metal poles, sand buckets and chairs. Even broken bike parts.

The atmosphere isn’t lively or bubbly. It’s cold, eerie, like a crime scene. Mist or fog coming down from the mountains, no life about. The hairs raise on the back of your neck and your tummy jaults a little.

Examining the space, boundaries and territories. Where spectators are allowed or prohibited. Where the bikes are allowed or have to go. Arco barriers, concrete blocks, security fencing, empty grandstands. It’s all there. It’s nitty gritty and in all fairness I love it.

I’ve never shot to a series before. It’s hard. Knowing the type of shots you are after, yet those that you get are two different kettle of fish. It’s all part of this Hnd journey.

So the assignment on racing spaces was split between the Ulster Grand Prix & the NW200. Downside? The photos at portrush were nowhere near what I had in my head. Thinking this could become an issue I spoke with my tutor. He is fantastic. He makes me see clearly what I originally see but have masked in problems. He pushes my confidence and makes me take those tiny steps to get what’s needed.

What was needed? Two little phone calls. After them? I got access to kirkistown and bishopscourt race circuits.

A twist and turn to how the ideas changed and developed.

Photos taken and processed, a 2nd visit required for kirkistown but at the end of the day I now have photos that I normally wouldn’t get and I have my 8 final prints.

All that I need now is my 8 hand printed black and whites. This is proving to be the nightmare but I never did think it was going to be easy especially now the deadline is looming closer!

Still loving it though.

Have been in the darkroom lately and learning to do my own prints. LOVING the B&W and it just brings it home even more when using digital just how atmospheric and gritty it can be.

So….

have got my first assignment for the year. Due date, 1st Dec and to be honest i’ve been crapping myself about it. Originally when i read the brief about spaces, the forms of spaces and territories i immediately thought of Bishopscourt for the bikes but with no easy access and only one race there at the end of October i changed and decided to go to the shipyard.

We had a photowalk last week and we ended up down at the shipyard. it’s now so redeveloped it’s hard to get a photograph of the space, the environment without the images turning out to be more of an architectural matter. After discussing this with one of my tutors, Mark, we both thought it would be wise to dump the idea of the shipyard and go more urban. So i picked the waterfront and laganside.

In class tho on friday, i spoke to another tutor, john. told him cards on the table i was really struggling. he asked me what connection did i have to the waterfront etc. none i said. so what’s the point of doing that? yes i can still do it, but it would be cold, empty, no passion about it.

He asked me a simple question. “What do you do when you’re not in here?” my reply….  Out with the kids and go to the motorbike racing. “BINGO”! was what i got. the bikes. told him about bishopscourt and he said you don’t need a circuit. Use the roads.

If it wasn’t for all the people in the room i’d have stood up and kissed that man on the forehead. instantly images and ideas were coming to my head, i smiled, i was excited and relieved.  Something, finally, that i was happy about and hopefully able to work to the brief that i can understand it.

Today i went to Dundrod. To the pits and paddocks, Empty grandstands, the bike starting marks on the road. i snapped and shot to my hearts content.

I’ll have prints, spider charts and a gusto of questions for the tutor’s this week when i go back.

Here’s a few images from today.

Tomorrow it’s up to portrush for a scout round the NW200 pits and paddocks. Be interesting to see what they turn out like.

Jx

well i finally done it. I jumped with two feet and landed on an HND photography course.

3 weeks ago, decided kinda last minute to see about a course. With help from lovely people on facebook, i got the name and number of the tutor at bangor campus to phone.

4 days later, i’m sitting in a classroom with Mark (the tutor) and my 20 photo portfolio. Absolutely bricking it, Mark was great. asking me about using filters, and a chat about the course, it was with great delight that i was told i’d got onto the course.

with a summer assignment to do, 20 photos with a specific title they were taken and printed ready for attending class.

First day, 14th September,  it was like a flock of butterflies constantly flying about my tummy. The great thing about the course, was that Zolita, a fellow flickrite, was starting at the same time. It was such a relief to actually know somebody there.

Wednesday was simply going through the handbooks, getting our timetables, student ID cards and getting a tour round the media suite (studio, darkrooms etc). Thursday we met more of our tutors. John & Gerard are great. good banter and of course we done the corny icebreakers thing but it was good. the room of strangers just isn’t as daunting any longer.

John has now got us doing a 12 image slideshow, we have to shoot our first roll of film for next week. we’ve got our first assignment to work on and we’ve been shown how to make a photogram (with the “awww class!!” *spot the newbie to darkroom* sound effects when image started to appear) and the first books outta the library.

Now it’s real. now it’s not a dream anymore. I am a mature student. I am an HND Photography student. I’ve Taken the Plunge.

At the beginning of the month, Bernie and I made a wee trip to Belfast Castle. We were meeting our bride and groom to be for the first time. Caroline, Jim and their Groomsman, Brendan, bounded in towards us. Hugs and intros over with we got down to business, listening to what the couple wanted.

So we done a recce round the castle, asked the questions, made mental notes, and the day began to unfold in our minds. Jim and Caroline were both so full of energy and had such a great attitude of their wedding. It’s a celebration, so let’s not have it the boring traditional way.
So. On the 5th August I arrived at Belfast Castle. They were finishing their set up for the ceremony and i got a walk round. At 11.20am the guest started to arrive and bang on 11.30 the groom and his party arrived to the castle door. Relaxed, happy all Jim was worrying about was making sure the music was ok for Caroline’s entrance.

As the castle’s ground started to fill with the bride and grooms family and friends, Jim & his best man were up in the room with the register going over the ceremony and vows.  Jim’s character was brilliant, witty and funny, you couldn’t help but laugh along with the conversation. The Register was so accommodating for us photographers too. Everything went like clockwork.

Downstairs in the room, the chairs were filling up & the music started.  As the instrumental tones of “sweet caroline” floated around the room, the bridesmaids walked down the stairs, then it was Caroline & her daddy. You could see the light in Jim’s eyes get brighter, everyone taking in how beautiful she looked.

Laughter, exchanged rings, hugs and kisses all took part and after the newly wedded Mr & Mrs Hunter made their way out to the Castle’s gardens for their photos.

It has to be said,  their family and friends were fantastic. What a crowd to work with, they never complained when we asked them to move from one side of the gardens to another, to stand in a certain position or to keep smiling for “just one more” photo.

Great craic was had when the entourage moved to Carrickfergus Castle. We could ask them to stand, sit, point, they were up for it all. But the best time at the castle was the bride and groom simply just crossing the road. the public were gobsmacked. Toots of horns, smiles, waves and yeo’s! it was all going on while the green man flashed!

The Reception was at the Knockagh Lodge. Very fitting for them as they’d got engaged at the Knockagh monument a year before. We let them be, time for them to relax, see their guests, enjoy not having a lens in their face all the time. Bernie and I checked over our images and  got the detail shots needed. We then got the mock cutting of the cake and put the camera’s down.

We were two delighted and very much appreciative photographers when we were fed and watered too. The quality of the food was amazing. cooked to perfection and the quantity!  As we ate, we watched the wedding party eat, chat about their day, catching up as some were from America, other’s from Scotland and New Zealand. A mixture of Culture yet all one family.

Then it was more photos while the dance floor was being prepared. Huge frames and people just being silly led to great laughter.  When the first dance arrived, Caroline and Jim had the floor and the attention of all. And after the last photos were taken we gave hugs, congratulations and left the party to go full swing.
It was a great honor to be part of Caroline and Jim’s special day.

Thank you for treating us, not only as your photographer’s, but as guests and more so, friends.

Here’s a few of my favourite shots of the day:

Congratulations to Mr & Mrs Hunter.

May your life as husband and wife bring you’s great joy & many special memories

~

I was very honored to be asked to take the photos for my Son’s BB display, by his Company Captain, Stephen Orr.

Unfortunately due to my son not being well at the minute he wasn’t able to participate but I was able to attend the Friday night and get some photos.

The theme this year was the ‘Royal Wedding’. The boys as usual put on an excellent show. From the Cabin boys as Royal Messengers, to the Horse Work, to the busby’s marching.

Looking forward to next year. Hoping that my boy will be able to take part and once again be asked to take the photos for the company.

Due to the display being of children, I have asked the parents for permission to show a couple of photos of their sons in full flow, It is with thanks to Louise and Sancha for granting me this. Here’s a few photos from the night:

I’ve been waiting a while to do this post, it’s a matter very close to my heart So let’s crack on.

In June 2009, my son was diagnosed with High Functional Autism, Part of the ASD/Autism spectrum.

We were in the waiting room & my son playing with the toys when his doctor called us. I asked her if we were getting a diagnosis today, was told no and although disappointed, accepted it and walked into the consulation room. The Clinical pyschologist was there, introductions were made, and then the conversation went between her and holden. After what seemed like only 10/15 mins in, we were told to wait outside again.

Sitting in that room, watching my son sit on his dad’s knee, getting a story read to him, totally engrossed in the pictures and colours, he was safe, happy and content with his little life. no where near aware of the anxiety, the fear, the worry that i was experiencing. you know, the fear of the unknown. what was being said in the room? what was going to happen? He’s my son. I’m his mother. I’m supposed to protect him. to make sure nothing ever happens to him. And i felt like i had failed.

My fears were confirmed just 5 minutes later. We walked back into the consultation room, sat down and were told that we were getting a definite diagnosis of “Highly Functioning Autism” and that was that. It’s not the end of the world but it may have well been.

We got up, walked out and went to get Holden his lunch. Outside all was fine. we had smiles and laughter, but inside my heart broke, my mind fogged and i just emotionally crumpled.  One word repeated constantly in my mind “Autism” over and over again.

From that day forth it’s just been us, no help or support until Autism NI got in touch. It is with huge thanks to Audrey & Nicola there that i was able to get my head round things….. help was at hand.

Things had settled, I had got myself pulled together and one night sitting on facebook, i searched for Autism support groups.

It was this night that I got in touch with Caroline Birch. What a lady!! And my connection with Helping Hands began.

Caroline had recently got in touch and asked about doing the photos of the children. Of course, Bernie and I jumped at it! What an experience. Those children, in the same boat as mine, pulled my heart strings. I just wanted to sit there, watch them, and let the tears roll but i couldn’t. I had to be the professional i was needed to be. Every shot, each face, the expressions, the light and love shining through each child’s eyes… it was such a humbling, moving and beautiful experience. I thank Caroline and the parents of Helping Hands, as a photographer, for giving me that experience, but more than that, now, as being a single parent. it’s more to do with knowing that I’m not alone, my son isn’t the only one in this, that we’re not isolated.  It’s without a doubt an experience as a photographer and a parent,  that I shall never forget. It was also with great relief that I could let the emotions take their hold on me while processing. You can see for yourself, the children are gorgeous, such characters, and hearts on their sleeves.

Here’s a few photos from the day of the photoshoot:

Thursday past (31st March) saw Bernie and I again shooting for Helping Hands.

This time it was at Castlereagh Council buildings for their official website launch. We got to meet Simon, the website designer, more parents and supporters.

It was such an honor to be part of this. Caroline thanked Bernie and myself for our help and participation and I have to say we thank her and all the parents more.

I ask you please, dig deep in your pockets. Support these children. Support their families who have created a wonderful, loving, safe, friendly environment. There is no judgement here, no staring, no looks of horror and shock at the parents, it’s a home from home and it’s true, it’s simply one big family. They cannot provide this though without our help.

They say charity begins at home. I ask you now to help, go to the website
Donate as much as you can. For every penny and pound is greatly appreciated.

Simon Harper is the Helping Hands website designer. If you require a site built, drop him a line:

Visit the website: www.srhdesign.co.uk  or email Simon at: Simon@srhdesign.co.uk

Here’s more photos from the website launch:

Here are also groups of support on facebook:

• Autism Awareness NI
• Parents Autism Lobby
• Peninsula Autism NI Suport Group
• Autism NI Lisburn Branch
• North Coast Autism NI
• Autism NI Newry & Mourne
• Autism South Down Branch

Remember, YOU are not ALONE!

YOU are NOT TO BLAME

YOUR child LOVES you

You will have BAD days, but you will also have GREAT days.

and most importantly…. ASK FOR HELP! and KEEP ASKING!

So, to finish off a long posting, It’s coming to the end of the World Autism Awareness Day.

Are you  Autism Aware?

I am.

My son was diagnosed.

We live each day as it comes, we take the good and the bad, we survive. You can to.

Finally to end. I dedicate this post to my son, Holden, and all the children at Helping Hands, and everybody who has Autism. YOU’S ROCK xoxo